falling in pieces
And into the right places.
Not into pieces.
Things have been a meganomous culmination of pissing stress, frustration, rushing and irritation for the past two or more weeks.
If ever Mount St Helenas blowed up again - and she is EXTINCT for crying out loud - that would have described moi and the sulphurous plumes cranking from my cubicle from afar.
And they saw how fast my tempers flared. And even got the brunt of it. For the first time.
Needless to say, the earpiece and phone cradle bruised and suffered loudly too.
Just plain steaming bottled madness and days on ends of nothing but chicken rice and 1 egg and biscuits.
At least there was brief reprieve - Kings of Convenience is FANTASTIC and soooo rewarding. And a nice lazy stay-over at Gene and Wee's with their lovely cats.
But before long - BANG!
Short lived bliss.
More problems. More hindrances.
And copious dollops of it.
And weeks of leaving only later than 8.30pm and seeing the swanky clubhouse jammed with bunches of idiots karokeing and sepatakrawing and basketballing their smelly bodies for hours upon leisurely hours and you feeling fucking sore over the sight and your state.
And sleep and the end doesn't seem anywhere in sight.
These are sooooooo fucking not my months, man...
I sooooo want out of this totally.
...
For now, at least one thing is over and done with today.
Sweated bullets working my ass off over this and people still say:
"Why you losing sleep over this hah?!"
(It was meant in jest of course but still...)
Like - HELLO??!!
You are presenting to your Big Boss HOR??!! And Deputy Big Boss HOR??!! And all the Other 50 Smaller But Equally Big Bosses and Bossettes from departments all over whom you have to grovel and get help in the near future HOR??!! And presenting for the first time! Especially when you hear how judgments are made swift and fast here and your immediate(ly) insufferable sup making airheaded silly sickening superfluous and sadistic last minute changes HALF A FUCKING HOUR BEFORE YOUR FUCKING PRESENTATION and you - are - telling - me - why I'm growing rice bags under my eyes and why my temples are pulsating???
*plastic grin, turn, walk, disdain-filled and annoyed downturning smirk, eyes rolling big time, mega-duh expression behind partition*
...
Thank goodness for things that fall in place in pieces.
Like a good Group Director. One of the few better ones among all the divisions and groups I hear too, so I'm blessed. Despite inhumanly busy schedule, prompt vetting approval, succinct remarks and cogent advice.
Like taking my own advice and prepreparing 3 weeks beforehand when someone choked with disbelief at hearing it. Can't imagine - without preprep and the last minute intrusions and distractions that popped up for a WHOLE BLOODY FUCKING WEEK leaving you totally disabled from doing any proper work, I'd be sitting in the middle of Bedok Reservoir sucking algae off pebbles with Mourning Myrtle by now.
Like surprisingly helpful colleagues from other departments who usually avoid you like the plague or treat you like you're Mourning Myrtle. Maybe their good moods helped when I called so they humoured me when I came scampering like a panting sycophantic old kid once too often.
Like a dash of luck here and there with things I can't recall anymore.
Like keeping strictly to your own prep discipline, regardless of what the rest say. (Maybe a piece or two good advice out of the blue - like don't over-rehearse. Yeah, that made sense. Helped too.)
Like keeping a mantra: I wanna have some fun with this. And I've got something you don't know yet and I'll never acknowledge it but nonetheless just watch me.
And like those nice and comforting non-spicy curry puffs, pastries and that hot and totally SHIOK milk tea I made myself afterwards - which my predecessors never enjoyed, just deliciously divine salve.
And finally like when total strangers you've never met before in your life coming up to you post-event - while you're busy stuffing your face silly with tea and cheese cake and fingers all greasy - to say you spoke well and others even emailed to tell you so later.
Yup, a few nice little places fell in place.
Bit by little bit.
Not into pieces.
Things have been a meganomous culmination of pissing stress, frustration, rushing and irritation for the past two or more weeks.
If ever Mount St Helenas blowed up again - and she is EXTINCT for crying out loud - that would have described moi and the sulphurous plumes cranking from my cubicle from afar.
And they saw how fast my tempers flared. And even got the brunt of it. For the first time.
Needless to say, the earpiece and phone cradle bruised and suffered loudly too.
Just plain steaming bottled madness and days on ends of nothing but chicken rice and 1 egg and biscuits.
At least there was brief reprieve - Kings of Convenience is FANTASTIC and soooo rewarding. And a nice lazy stay-over at Gene and Wee's with their lovely cats.
But before long - BANG!
Short lived bliss.
More problems. More hindrances.
And copious dollops of it.
And weeks of leaving only later than 8.30pm and seeing the swanky clubhouse jammed with bunches of idiots karokeing and sepatakrawing and basketballing their smelly bodies for hours upon leisurely hours and you feeling fucking sore over the sight and your state.
And sleep and the end doesn't seem anywhere in sight.
These are sooooooo fucking not my months, man...
I sooooo want out of this totally.
...
For now, at least one thing is over and done with today.
Sweated bullets working my ass off over this and people still say:
"Why you losing sleep over this hah?!"
(It was meant in jest of course but still...)
Like - HELLO??!!
You are presenting to your Big Boss HOR??!! And Deputy Big Boss HOR??!! And all the Other 50 Smaller But Equally Big Bosses and Bossettes from departments all over whom you have to grovel and get help in the near future HOR??!! And presenting for the first time! Especially when you hear how judgments are made swift and fast here and your immediate(ly) insufferable sup making airheaded silly sickening superfluous and sadistic last minute changes HALF A FUCKING HOUR BEFORE YOUR FUCKING PRESENTATION and you - are - telling - me - why I'm growing rice bags under my eyes and why my temples are pulsating???
*plastic grin, turn, walk, disdain-filled and annoyed downturning smirk, eyes rolling big time, mega-duh expression behind partition*
...
Thank goodness for things that fall in place in pieces.
Like a good Group Director. One of the few better ones among all the divisions and groups I hear too, so I'm blessed. Despite inhumanly busy schedule, prompt vetting approval, succinct remarks and cogent advice.
Like taking my own advice and prepreparing 3 weeks beforehand when someone choked with disbelief at hearing it. Can't imagine - without preprep and the last minute intrusions and distractions that popped up for a WHOLE BLOODY FUCKING WEEK leaving you totally disabled from doing any proper work, I'd be sitting in the middle of Bedok Reservoir sucking algae off pebbles with Mourning Myrtle by now.
Like surprisingly helpful colleagues from other departments who usually avoid you like the plague or treat you like you're Mourning Myrtle. Maybe their good moods helped when I called so they humoured me when I came scampering like a panting sycophantic old kid once too often.
Like a dash of luck here and there with things I can't recall anymore.
Like keeping strictly to your own prep discipline, regardless of what the rest say. (Maybe a piece or two good advice out of the blue - like don't over-rehearse. Yeah, that made sense. Helped too.)
Like keeping a mantra: I wanna have some fun with this. And I've got something you don't know yet and I'll never acknowledge it but nonetheless just watch me.
And like those nice and comforting non-spicy curry puffs, pastries and that hot and totally SHIOK milk tea I made myself afterwards - which my predecessors never enjoyed, just deliciously divine salve.
And finally like when total strangers you've never met before in your life coming up to you post-event - while you're busy stuffing your face silly with tea and cheese cake and fingers all greasy - to say you spoke well and others even emailed to tell you so later.
Yup, a few nice little places fell in place.
Bit by little bit.
posted by logomancer | 10:58:00 PM
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